Each family has its own organization and habits. Dealing with the dependence of a loved one due to disability, illness or aging can upset the balance and create family tensions. In some cases, family mediation can help family members build solutions together.

Feelings: putting words to our emotions

The conflict is defined as an opposition of feelings, opinions, interests. To resolve a conflict, or avoid it, we must express what is happening within us, externalize our emotions. For this, it is necessary to express one’s feelings and attitudes by using the “I”. For example, “your behavior annoys me” in this case becomes “I feel worried”.

Needs: identify and express your needs

In a conflict situation, it is essential to state one’s satisfied and unsatisfied needs. The challenge is to identify the need that hides behind your feelings. In our example, the sentence “I worry because it happens all the time” becomes “I worry because I need to be able to trust you and know that nothing has happened to you” .

Find solutions with family mediation

The external third party will help you to understand how to raise these questions and answer them? How to anticipate what will happen? How do you prepare to enter a retirement home, as a family, so as not to be caught in an emergency situation? How to respect the elderly parent who refuses to enter a retirement home, when there are risks at home or family disagreement? How to free oneself from the weight of fears, guilt, by having a constructive dialogue with the elderly parent?

What is family mediation?

Mediation remains little known to families in a conflict situation with a weakened loved one, because it is mainly associated with marital relationship conflicts. However, mediation makes it possible to prevent or resolve tensions linked to the dependency of a loved one.

Family mediation: what definition?

“It is a process of construction or reconstruction of the family bond  centered on the autonomy and the responsibility of the people concerned by situations of breakdown or separation in which  an impartial, independent, qualified third party without decision-making power  – the mediator family – promotes, through the organization of confidential interviews, their communication,  the management of their conflict in the family domain  understood in its diversity and in its evolution”. Definition of the National Advisory Council for Family Mediation, 2003

When can family mediation be useful?

Situations of tension linked to a dependent relative are generally the result of two issues: the organization of home care for a relative, in particular with personal assistance services, or entry into a retirement home or adapted establishment. We think of mediation when the family situation is very complicated. However, we can also call on mediation when you have difficulty talking to each other or making a decision together. Involving a neutral third party in family exchanges can make it possible to move the situation forward.

What is the family mediation process?

The family mediator acts as an external third party and expert in the conflict to help you renew the dialogue and develop concrete organizational solutions within your family.

First stage: preliminary interview

This first interview, individual or collective, allows you to get to know each other, to inform about the mediation process and to discuss the situation to check the relevance of the mediation in relation to the needs of the family.

Second step: mediation sessions

The mediation process begins with several individual interviews , then group interviews, always on a voluntary basis. Each member of the family can then express themselves: what are their needs? What are his feelings? What are the sources of family tensions?